One Bad Joke
by D.stortion
Summary: A frustrated cat meets an irritated bat at a bar. Things go downhill from there. And by downhill, I seriously mean it.


**This one shot is not related in any way to my story Power of Bonds. Enjoy this silly little thing.**

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_One Bad Joke_

"Ugh, I had enough of this! Father is incompetent at anything else than war, Mother cannot rule a country to save herself..." A lavender cat started to say, wildly swinging the large mug of brown beer in her hand, spilling the beverage inside. "And then they ALL look at me, smiling brightly with their foolish, lazy behavior where they place everything on their daughter! Can you believe it?!"

The bartender, a muscular, bald human with tattoos everywhere that was cleaning a regular glass in his hands nodded as he listened to the cat's rant, definitely looking like he couldn't care less. "I see, I see. Tough life you got living as a, uh, what'dya say..." He said as he continued to rub the glass, having forgotten what the insane feline in front of him had called herself.

"Princess from another dimension." Blaze completed, finishing with a groan. "Get me one more drink, bartender... please."

"Comin' right up."

Blaze the cat, fire bending Princess from the Sol dimension, future ruler of the Sol kingdom, and Guardian of the Sol Emeralds had her exciting life filled with...

Paperwork.

Every. Single. Day.

It didn't help that the day she decided to take a break and go for a walk, she'd suddenly end up teleported by the mystic emeralds she had with her into her blue counterpart's world for absolutely no reason.

And so, the frustrated cat decided to find the closest bar she could to drink and rant about everything she had on her mind, something she never did before.

Another female came to the bar counter, this time a bat with messy hair, dark rings under her bloodshot eyes. She was wearing a white T-shirt, jeans and baskets and she looked seriously irritated.

She sat next to the frustrated cat.

"Bartender, get me your strongest drink please." She asked, in answer the man nodded and got her a small glass with liquid inside before immediately drinking it in one go. "Argh, damn it all! Those stupid, hormone infested customers that keep on causing problems! What the hell is wrong with them, I've got enough problems already while managing that damn nightclub, screw them!" She started to say as loudly as the cat previously did. "Bartender, another and make it quick."

The frustrated cat glared at the bat next to her, not liking how she talked to the bartender that had been kindly listening to the cat ranting previously. "Hey don't you have any manners? Pay some respect to the man that's serving you a drink and listening to your yelling."

The irritated bat returned the glare, clearly not appreciating how she had been talked to. "Huh?! What's with you ya damn cat? 'Sides I don't have anything to say to one that's drinking weak and crappy beer!"

"Oh oh, is that so? Bartender, give me your strongest drink as well!"

The man sighed, finding his customers really troublesome. "Alright ladies, here you go."

They both drank their glasses at the same time, a sigh leaving their mouth as they finished their drinks.

"How about now, you rude, loudmouthed woman?" Blaze started again, catching the bat's attention.

"The hell do you want? Ya sure got guts to talk to me like that. Bartender, another!"

"Apologize to him! Bartender, get me another drink too!"

Once again, they drank after they were served, the strong alcohol was starting to take effect as they began feeling dizzy.

Rouge the Bat wasn't known for holding her alcohol well, unlike her dark hedgehog friend.

Nor was Blaze as it was her first time drinking something like this and in such quantities.

"What is that dude your boyfriend or something? I'm paying anyway so who cares! He's paid to hear me rant as much as I want to! 'Nother!" The bat began, her face slightly redder because of the alcohol.

"Boyfriend?! Never! I, I'm never getting with a human! What's with you complaining about a nightclub anyway?! You ever had a country to rule before huh?! One more!"

The man sighed as he brought the next set of drinks.

"Country?! Hah! You living in some sort of, of fairy tale you cat?! A nightclub's a, like, a hundred-thousand times harder to manage a, anyway! Gimme one more!"

"You, you serious huh?! You never, never had to deal with those, those commo-commoners complainin' about their crops and lands! And their crops! Those stupiiiid crops! One more too!"

The almost comical show those two put on would have attracted the attention of the customers inside of the bar if there had been any, but the place was empty like a ghost town, forcing the poor, poor bartender to bear with his only customers so that he could have some business going.

After a few more minutes of drinking, arguing and incoherent slurring, it seems that the bat came to an amazing conclusion.

"Oh, oh I geeeeet it ya cat kitty! Yooou wan-, youuuuuu wanna fiight? That it?! I'm, I'm gonna steal your things! I, I swearrrrr!"

"I'm gunna... I'm gunna burn youuu! If you want a fight then I'll, I'll..."

The bat raised her hand and grabbed the cat's jacket before pulling a green, rectangular shaped emerald out of seemingly nowhere.

"MIIIIIIINE!" Rouge yelled before running upstairs with her new prize

"Muh... Muh emerooodz!" Blaze shouted, about to cry as tears formed in her eyes. "GIVE IT BAAAAAACK!"

The cat ran drunkenly after the bat and amazingly managed to not fall as she went up the stairs.

The bartender was left alone, cleaning yet another glass, looking dead tired. "At least pay before leaving..." He mumbled, sighing.

* * *

The birds were singing, the sun was shining, the grass was growing and a lavender cat had just started to awaken from her deep slumber, her head extremely heavy.

"Ow my head... What in the world happened?" She asked herself, vaguely remembering something about entering a bar, meeting a rude bat, drinking a lot and her emeralds. "...My emerald! Where's the green Sol emerald?!" Blaze said as she immediately checked her jacket to see if her sacred jewels were still there.

She wasn't wearing any jacket.

"...W-Wha...?" Blaze checked her body again.

She wasn't wearing her bra. Or her pants for that matter.

This was when she also noticed that she was laying in a large heart shaped bed.

A trail of smoke came into her view as she very slowly dared to turn her head toward the source.

There she saw the bat from last night, next to her in the bed and as naked as Blaze was, smoking a large cigar and looking refreshed.

"Oh, good morning hon, how you feeling?" Rouge greeted, smiling.

Blaze couldn't answer, her mouth stuck in shock.

"Ah, that good huh? Y'know, last night was pretty wild between us too... So, what's your name, darling?"

The feline's mind went blank as no sound came out of her anymore.

She just hoped that everything that had happened last night was one bad joke.


End file.
